Entry 3

Dear Diary,

The weather was so nice today and I was determined not to spend it indoors. So guess what I did? I visited a friend on campus and I had so much fun. It was good to talk to another person and not stare so much at my computer screen, typing up school work and watching free movies online.

Today I want to talk about friends and friendship and how important friends can be especially when we have fears and problems.

Ever had a friend that for some reason you just stopped talking to for no reason? But you remember being comfortable with them and even having a good time. I understand some friendships become stale and people grow out of certain friendships. Well this isn't the kind I am talking about. Too often people like myself who are very shy or introverted tend to stop talking to people especially when we feel we are boring them or we feel that secretly they must not like us and talk about us behind our backs. Because of this reason we begin to distance ourselves from people that matter to us because we do not want to be a bother and sometimes the burnt of the joke or back talk. I should know I used to do this and even sometimes do it till date but seeing as I am trying to become more outspoken and open version of myself this is a habit I am trying to curb.

So diary, I visited my friend and we caught up, we even had something to eat that this friend prepared. We talked watched a movie, took a walk around campus and it was splendid. I got back home around 8:30pm, pretty late for me (lol). Why are friends important? Well for one they keep you sane and when you have really good friends they can influence your lives positively. We all need positives in our lives, to balance out the negatives. We learn from friends and they learn from us.

Having friends is so important, as I have come to realize, having someone who you can talk to, have, have a drink with, do something crazy with and so on a foreign adventure with is an amazing thing. Spending time with my friend today made me realize that I have this, that I might have a best friend in her. Unbelievable for someone like me. Turns out we are also have our own foreign adventure we plan to take. To live a year abroad in south Africa doing internships in our respective fields while exploring and discovering the country.

Friendship is such a wonderful thing and I have decided to reach out to those friends that I might have unknowingly pushed away.

I understand that most people might be hesitant to do this, establish reconnections with old friends for fear of rejection. Understand that it is the first step that matters, work up that courage and reach out, see how things go from there. Humans by nature are social animals, someone smart said this. 

Hopes this helps someone today. Thank you. I would love to read your own stories about friends that you have pushed away and somehow reconnected with.

What do you do for fun???

Saw this meme the other day thought it described me perfectly.

The difference however is that my reply is usually, Ummmmmmmm IDK read. Type your replies in the comment section if you have ever gotten this question before . I would love to read your responses.

Entry 2

Welcome to entry number 2 of my public diary

Deep breath,deeper breaths and here goes
Dear diary,
Most people might not consider some of the issues I want to talk on much of a problem but for me it is. These are problems I hope to overcome sooner rather than later.
Why am I so shy?
Why do I find it difficult to hold conversations with people I meet?
Why am I able to hold such intelligent conversations in my head but when it comes to reality I stutter and make a fool of my self?
Why am I such a fantastic dancer in private but when i go to a party with family and friends I absolutely refuse to dance?
Why cant I take a compliment?

Am I being hard on myself? or Do other people feel this way too?
Man the friends I would have if I wasn't so bad at wanting to talk to people or forming friendships.


Now most of you reading this blog are wondering, Well maybe you are just an introvert and maybe I am, actually i'm quite positive I am, but here's the thing diary being an introvert hasn't gotten me really far, there are opportunities that I have missed because of my introvercy(Is this a word? lol) Internships and the likes and I want to change that. Like I said  I want to be successful and have a business and guess how many business owners have any of the above characteristics. That's right not a lot of them. Guess how many business owners miss opportunities? That's right, zilch.

For a long time I used being an introvert as an excuse and now I am saying no more/
So what are the actions you plan on taking to better yourself?

Try to be more engaging with people especially at networking events
Easier said that done. If there is anything I avoid doing, it would be talking to strangers no matter where I am. I might go for a networking event and not network, completely defeating the purpose of me being there. This is not going to happen in one minute or a day obviously. I have to work my way up, start small. One of the first steps would be to engage people in friendly conversations. Once I become comfortable conversing with people then I can move on to bigger things like interviews and networking events.
Another step would be to try and work on my social anxiety. Let me just say having social anxiety is no joking matter, there are days I do not want to leave my room, there are days that I do not open my blinds, I have gone weeks without communicating with people. I once moved out of my on-campus housing simply because I was scared of talking to the people who lived there. Like I said no joke, I have no Idea when I started to become socially anxious but I do know one thing for sure, it has made me miserable. Thankfully things got better, What did I do? I opened those damn blinds, I left my room, went down to the common area of my apartment complex and I interacted with people i did not know, of course I had a close friend around as a security blanket but I made sure not to hover around her.It was a truly horrifying experience but man did I prevail. I will work on doing this more, expanding to college funded activities for students and by Jove I will become a good conversationalist. I do still have a lot to work on, my advice on this matter will be to take one step at a time, don't rush it and as long as you remain focused on what you want to achieve, you will.

Holding conversations in my head but not in real life.
I am a very opinionated person, I keep up with world news, pop culture, I have read more than my fair share of books( I have a personal Library) and I am probably the only one of my friends that likes the newspaper although I don't get it much here in the USA. Doing all of these have made me really conscious about a lot of things, they have allowed me to form opinions and share them with only one person, her name is Debra, and she is my brain. Yeah I named my brain, let's just pretend that that is not weird lol.
My problem here is that when the opportunity comes to engage in discussions with people about this issues, I rarely ever take them or speak up. What to do, What to do?
Nobody is going to eat you for speaking your mind or opinions, won't they though? I have thought long about this one diary. I am not a confrontational person, When I talk to people I want a discussion and not an argument but a lot of people today just want to argue especially when you have different views from them and I tend to just not want any parts of that so I keep quiet even when I badly want to say something.
So what's the solution here?
Should I get a louder voice, be more aggressive or is it assertive? This is where a good conversation skill would come in handy. Find a way to steer the other person from argument to discussion. I know easier said that done right. Maybe I should make myself be heard. I too have good stuff to contribute.

Diary this is all I have today.

Hey guys. I would really love to hear what you advise on the last one. Till my next post then.

Entry 1

Lately the question that has been in my mind has been, What the heck am I going to do with my life? I'm a college student in the USA, still in my second year but that hasn't stopped me from asking myself this question. I'm turning eighteen this year and for some reason I feel like my time is running out. I feel like if I don't start something now, I won't be able to do something with my life. Anybody else ever have this problem. One thing is for sure I want to work in the media, something to do with Journalism, Hollywood(Doesn't everyone theses days) 2016 has gone by so fast soon it will be 2017 and then 2018 and then i'm a graduate and officially an adult. That scares me more than anything.

Adulthood is scary and I admire the people who have been able to successfully navigate this still unfamiliar terrain.

Why am I starting this blog? Well I am hoping to meet individuals who at one time in their lives felt the way I am currently feeling. Individuals who are currently feeling this way. I want to meet people who like me want success for themselves. I want to engage in discussions with individuals from different fields especially business wise. Business because I am looking to establish a business in my home country. An unexplored industry that is popular here in the USA but completely not available where I come from.I want to understand the way the stock market works, how trading works. How to know when to invest etc

Obviously Rome was not built in a day and I am willing to put in the work.

What to do about Life is basically going to be my online diary, that is open to the public. Where I ask for advice from total strangers on the internet. Basically disregarding everything I have been taught about strangers. This will also be sort of an advice to myself and to others who are willing to take the advice and truly become their best self.


This is my first post and it is a bit messy in terms of what I want this blog to be about exactly but the idea is slowly forming in my head and contents on this blog will become clearer and more specific.
Thanks for reading.